Prepare the way of the Lord. [Matthew 3: 3]
You and I are in a new church year, and as we know, Advent is a time for waiting, for preparing renewed hearts to celebrate Christ’s birth among us — both in the tangible world of a human body, and also in our spiritual hearts.
About this waiting — I find I am noticing more of my impatience these days. Maybe I always was this impatient, but less aware of it when I was younger. Recently in the nearby Safeway on Solano, I just wanted to buy some toothpaste. Of course, these days that’s in a locked cabinet — and I was ready to wait for a clerk.
But a clerk was already there, taking care of another customer. That was good! But that person dithered around, not sure just what brand was the best and cost least. I wanted to interrupt and just reach in and grab what I wanted — all the while conscious at how impatient I was growing. I hardly recognized myself.
I mean, I think of myself as centered, as steeped in meditative practice, able to distinguish between several forms of Christian spirituality, to say nothing of interfaith practices like hatha yoga and forms of Buddhism. Why was I such a child when it came down to taking my place in line and waiting?
Even more to the point, if I can’t wait a few minutes for some toothpaste, how can I expect my spirit to tolerate, much less enjoy, the season of Advent?
And yet here I am, up here, exhorting us all not to rush to Christmas too soon, to take the time to prepare our hearts. I needed to find someone who showed patience, and I found a passage from a 14th century writer, Julian of Norwich, who waited 15 years before she understood a vision she once had. She writes:
God showed me more, a little thing the size of a hazelnut, on the palm of my hand, round like a ball. I looked at it thoughtfully and wondered, “What is this?” And the answer came: “It is all that is made.” I marveled that it continued to exist and did not disintegrate, it was so small. And again, my mind supplied the answer, “It exists, and both now and forever, because God loves it. In short, everything owes its existence to the love of God.” From the time these things were first revealed I had often wanted to know what was our Lord’s meaning. It was more than fifteen years after that I was answered in my spirit’s understanding. “You would know our Lord’s meaning in this thing? Know it well. Love was his meaning.”
So it was that I learned that love was our Lord’s meaning. And I saw for certain, both here and elsewhere, that before he ever made us, God loved us.
Perhaps some of you had a stray thought from that passage of Julian of Norwich — a strange echo from astrophysics. I did a quick search on line, and found this:
The Big Bang was not an explosion in space,
but the rapid expansion of space itself — from a state smaller than a pinhead.
Julian understood God to have said (about that hazelnut): It is all that is made. She viewed this little entity as a hazelnut — or is it smaller that a pinhead? What was there before that Big Bang? That’s not a question science can answer. But, of course, a question we can still ask. According to Julian, Love was his meaning.
Considerations like these find me in a much more patient frame of mind. I suppose cosmology will do that. And perhaps theology will make us more patient.
One of my more whimsical images in Advent considers John the Baptist taking the place of Santa Claus in the shopping malls. Little children are lining up, but the only things in common between these two figures is a leather belt. The red suit is gone, and in its place we have a man head to toe in camel hair. Maybe that’s softer than red wool, and certainly warmer to sit upon. The beards don’t resemble each other, and instead of a candy cane scent, they smell a breath of wild honey and even fried insects.
And these two figures promise wildly different things. One talks of presents that will be pleasing for a short while before being outgrown. The other promises the arrival of a person whose message and challenge of love can never be exhausted, and whose actions inspired billions of believers.
While the world of commerce spreads the tinsel and Yuletide carols, we resolve to look beyond the surface and continue to prepare our hearts for true joys and hints of a heavenly peace that the world cannot give.