Taming the Tongue
19th Sunday after Pentecost, 2024
When James says, “How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire.” We KNOW exactly what he’s talking about.
Unchecked fraudulent speech has become its own kind of pandemic in our world creating chaos – with little end in sight. Yes?
And when fear and anger get traction – it truly is like a forest fire, setting the world ablaze, itself set on fire by hell, as James so eloquently writes.
And honestly, none of us are immune – and so it behooves us to pray not only for others to be brought back into their right minds – but for ourselves as well – to be firmly rooted in the mind and heart of Christ – and reality.
All of us know the feeling and the fallout of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Or of saying the right thing but at the wrong time!
It’s SO easy to do. It’s SO easy to pop off with a smart remark, or a defensive retort, or a well intended critique that we tell ourselves is just good hearted advice. Right?
We have all spoken in ways that are ungenerous and ill considered.
So no shaming or blaming here – We are all prone – every one of us – to setting fires with our speech. We are all guilty of speaking in ways that tear down, whether we mean to or not.
The truth is, an untamed tongue, which is how James talks about it, is a reactive tongue. And when we are reactive, we voice feelings before without taking the time to name and process our own emotions, especially emotions of fear or anger or frustration.
It is incredibly helpful to take the time to really wonder about those feelings – where do they come from? And why are they so strong?
Oftentimes, our feelings can lead us to some truths about ourselves that we might not be so comfortable with – but that give us important information about what we actually think.
I’m talking now in psychological terms – but psychology and spirituality are deeply related. We know that we operate from a rational place – and an irrational place. That our unconscious and subconscious are even more powerful than our conscious minds. And if we do not do our own work in terms of uncovering and processing our thoughts and emotions, we are likely to project onto others our own irrational fears and grievances – and set fires to relationships without meaning to.
The truth is, our religion calls us to take up our cross and follow Christ. And to do that, we need to get beneath the surface of our thinking, and understand that it doesn’t work to believe or think one thing and do another. Our doing and our talking and our thinking need to be aligned with Christ.
Which takes transformation. And a great beginning for true transformation is to question what is under the surface – to wonder what lies behind the masks of respectability that we all wear and to approach our darker sides with respect and understanding and compassion.
So it helps to really understand that what you think and feel is just the tip of the iceberg. Wondering and praying about what is under the surface is essential to your transformation in Christ. Reflect on what you feel, be curious about your own reactions, wonder what is happening for the other person – and do this for a bit longer than you are actually comfortable doing it. You may notice anxiety surfacing – and part of taking up your cross and following in Jesus’ footsteps means living with that anxiety of not knowing and not projecting and not doing harm with either your words or your actions. As you learn to sustain the anxiety of not acting precipitously, of not speaking too quickly, you have a much better chance of contributing to the outcome you want – rather than provoking more chaos or ill will.
Ilia Delio, a Franciscan sister who is both a scientist and a theologian, reminds us that Our lives have meaning and purpose. We either help build this world up in love or tear it apart.
So let us put to good use the wisdom that is in James’ letter. Because we all know that our speech, our words, our tweets, our comments, can set things on fire, can inflame hearts and minds, can tear down and discourage – and we all know the opposite is true as well. Well timed encouragement, words of comfort and understanding, can build up and bless – many times over.
The Apostle James calls us to practice what the Buddhists call Right Speech and what we Christians call Wise Speech.
Let us pray: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, reveal and shape what is beneath the surface of our lives. Form us so that what comes up to the surface may be pure and true and life-giving to ourselves and to others. Amen.
