“The Price of Discipleship”
Interesting readings today.
First, Sarah convinces Abraham to send Hagar and her son away. God reassures Abraham, but not Hagar, that the boy has a future.
Next, Paul tells us that to belong to Christ, we need to die to sin.
Finally, we have Jesus laying out in detail to his disciples what their commitment to him will cost them.
These are the kinds of passages that make me wonder if I have any business calling myself a Christian.
What is the cost, for us, in our time and place, of following Jesus?
And how do we deal with our fear?
Most of us here probably won’t be called to put our lives on the line for our faith. Some may have religious divisions in their families that are painful, especially if any of the people involved believe that the consequence of wrong belief is eternal damnation.
But for many of us, the worst reaction we’ll face for believing in Jesus is ridicule, or possibly a verbal outburst from someone who sees nothing in religion but shame and blame and war mongering.
So, no, it really isn’t much of a risk for us to show up at church every week. Of course, we do have more responsibilities than that, as Christians.
This congregation is pretty conscientious about offering practical help to people in need. But sometimes, I think, our faith asks us to step out of our comfort zones. For example, this spot right here is not my comfort zone.
And this is where fear comes in.
I read a commentary on this Gospel reading that talked a lot about fear. Fear as a powerful motivation, and fear as a tool for politicians (and I would add advertisers) to manipulate us.
I imagine that physical reactions to deep fear are probably the same for everyone, but the things that we’re afraid of are not. One person’s exciting challenge is another’s worst nightmare. I know that’s true. I’ve seen pictures of people appearing to sleep soundly on a portable ledge, attached to the face of Half Dome.
But I would guess that almost everyone would be afraid of the kind of violent death that Jesus warns his disciples about. And we know that many of them did die violently and probably very painfully.
So, how do we overcome our fears?
Jesus tells his disciples that they need not fear those who can only kill the body but not the soul. I thought about that for a long time, wondering if I could really trust even God enough to look death in the eye.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I do see how this works. Jesus is telling them that if they can don’t run away from this physical danger, they will be rewarded with something much better than a few more years on earth. I remembered times when I found a way through my fear because I trusted that the outcome would be better than if I gave in to the fear. Sometimes the equation is very simple, like standing up here and reading what I’ve written, because for me, it’s worth a few butterflies to dig into the readings like this.
Other times, it’s harder. Once, on a hiking trip, I found myself looking at a more or less vertical rock face, which the guides informed us we would be climbing. This was really not my idea of fun, as I think I hinted earlier. But there were rewards, getting to finish the hike, for one, and at least equally important, not feeling like a wimp in front of the rest of the group. The guides assured us it wasn’t that hard, and I made sure that a couple of people were ahead of me, so I could watch how it went for them. It was fine. And I was really glad when it was over.
I don’t know if this is helpful or not, or if it applies to everyone or every situation. Personally, it’s been interesting to think about fear, because I see myself as a rather fearful person, and I know it holds me back sometimes. There are some things I can’t imagine I could ever do, no matter what the situation was. Maybe there are things like that for you, too.
Trusting in God is a good thing. So let us all pray for the courage to do what we need to do, and to be spared from challenges that are too much for us.
Amen.
